Blogging

Blogging has become very challenging for me.  I have so many thoughts, so many things I want to share but I just can't find a way to get them onto the computer.  It almost seems like it's not worth it, sitting at the computer trying to make sure I communicate everything I want to and at the same time trying to make sure it all sound good.  I talked to Gentry, a new friend who is adopting a little girl from Russia, and she understood me completely.  However, when I read her blog there always seems to be an update and something great to read about.  There is also a beautiful picture of their daughter.  Someone to have the passion to write about.  Someone to desire to hold and bring into your family.  Someone you know has stolen your heart!

And that's it.  I realized that even though I desire this child I don't have a face to go with him.  I don't have an age.  I don't know if he is skinny or chubby.  I don't even know if he is born yet.  Right now all I have is paperwork, training and a home study to wait for.  I want to look into our sons eyes, see videos of him (we will be sent videos of our son once we are matched with him), I want to have my heart stolen again!  I want to sit down at the computer and have 10 post waiting to be added because I have a little boy to share and talk about.

I am doing my best to be patient with the adoption process because I know the good reasons behind each form I fill out but it will sure feel good when the process stops feeling like its about paper and becomes about the sweet face I see daily.

Thanks for listening.