Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Review Time

Our homestudy is already being reviewed by the home office in Modesto.  Our social worker sent an
e-mail with this news.  She is also going to find out what the next steps will be in our process. 

I am starting to think more about the matching process again and honestly it makes me very uncomfortable.  My thoughts go something like this...... How will we know that this is our son?, What if we say yes to the first match and God has another child for us?, Will it be as obvious as me looking at my daughters for the first time?, Will I have that instant connection when I look at him?.  Josh keeps telling me will know when we see him.  I still hope that the first match is our son.  I refuse to be the parent that tries to pick out their child!  I want God to have done that already, just as he did with the girls. 

I also know that no matter what this in between process feels like we will love our son no less than we love our girls.  He will be our son from the instant we are matched and I will long for him like I longed to meet each one of the girls.  He will be our fourth precious child.

Looking forward to all that's coming!!!

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